Monday, February 6, 2012

What's All This?

You want to know a secret?

I think there's five babies in here.

Don't tell Darron.

Because really. I look offensively similar to a picture I took six months pregnant with Hinckley. Except this belly isn't cute. Not cute, not perky, and definitely not full of uterus. Kinda smooshy, hanging over my waistband, and full of bean dip and grapenuts.  It's not something I want to show off and yet I don't fit into my regular shirts anymore. Have I mentioned I'm TEN weeks? That's two months. My baby is the size of a pea. Or some sort of smallish legume. I don't know what's going on in there but it is NOT medically necessary, I can tell you that.

Other things going on around the house: Hinckley is playing basketball. Darron I think has finally accepted the fact that his children will not be athletic phenoms. Sigh. Shoulda spent a bit more time scrutinizing my genetic offerings, rather than my backside, huh, pal? But he (Hinckley) is having fun and has gained a lot of confidence. I think basketball is a good one for that. He's also testing my mothering. And it's not holding up so well, truth be told. He has always been my hard one. Please someone tell me that they have a child like this. And that it gets easier when they turn 11 in two weeks.

Halle is just Halle. I wish to death that she could have a little best friend move in next door. She has lots of school friends, but they live so far far away and it's such a production to plan a play date and it really only works on a Saturday that we don't have anything going on. She needs someone she can have over at the drop of a hat. Someone that gets her, someone she can be with for hours on end and never run out of stuff to do and talk about. She's kind of funny. She loves having friends, but is pretty quiet at first and a little hard to get to know. I think it's a struggle for her to break the ice with girls at church that live close by, but that she only sees for a hour or two once a week. I probably feel this more keenly than she does and need to realize that she's only eight and probably has a good eighty or ninety more friend-making years in her.

Ava, as many of you know, has been patching her right eye for 10 months, in order to reverse a lazy eye in the other one. Between that and regular bouts of eye infections and paying $60 every six weeks for check-ups and keeping track of those darned glasses, I cannot wait to be done! For 8 months, it's been right around the corner.

Tommy is still beautiful. And addicted to the Wii. He allegedly only gets one hour of screen time a day. Which gives me time for either a yoga practice or a shower. Some days I want to do both and I "forget" to tell him his time is up. Some days I want (not really) to do laundry and I "forget" again. Sometimes things are so peaceful and quiet and I know he will whine if I tell him his time is up and I deliberately let him play indefinitely. Again, nothing Darron needs to know.

Sorry to sound so morose and incapable. I kind of just complained for five paragraphs. In retaliation, I'll write down five things that are AWESOME about life. Then I'll be done. Promise.

1) Sunday's Downton Abbey episode waiting for me on my DVR. I save them for Darron's bishopric nights.

2) Junk food makes me sick this pregnancy. What a horrid disguised blessing!!

3) I just read two of Shannon Hale's books for the first time. First time reading Shannon Hale, I mean. I found out in a completely embarrassing and quite stalker-like manner-- so obviously involving facebook--that two of her books were on sale for really cheap as ebooks so I bought them and read them and loved them. Read one during the Superbowl, in fact. Best Superbowl ever.

4) People who say nice things. If there is anything sweeter than someone giving a compliment or being kind or showing compassion out of the blue for no good reason, I can't think of what it might be.

5) Praying. Those days when I'm just a mess? And totally overwhelmed or misunderstood or wronged or alone or whatever?! It's a complete miracle to me every time that I can cry or complain or question or rage-- so weak and needy and pathetic. I can dump it all on Him and He sorts it out with me. And gives me peace. And even sometimes a game plan, if I'm ready for it.