Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Anniversary

I have heard that for a significant portion of you, your favorite posts are the ones featuring my handsome and persnickety love interest, Darron. If it seems they have been scarce of late, it's because they have. After a minor posting fiasco involving some unedited emotional vomit, I gave myself a stern talking-to about what is mine to share and what is mine to keep to myself. And it has made me a bit gun shy to write about Darron. It shouldn't, but it has. I would rather err on the side of caution than say something that would make people unfairly make assumptions about him. It hasn't been much fun though, because Darron is quite interesting. I mean, I think he is.

But. It's our anniversary. Our 13th wedding anniversary. And my sappy heart feels like it's time for a little tribute to the man who won it all those years ago...

A long time ago, before wrinkles, varicose veins, and mummy tummy on her part, and gray hair, IBS, and professional styling on his, a boy married a girl and had a big huge cake. (10 points if you can identify the "extras")

How did the two of you come together? We met at BYU-- where the name of the game is find an eligible young man to marry pronto before you go back home where the only Mormon boys are the ones you knew when they were 14 and you can never ever forget that-- and our stars collided. Several times, actually, because one star didn't make up its mind as quickly as the other and because they kept getting in fights and making big scenes and all sorts of uncomfortable and adolescent drama.

What attracted you to one another? For him, it was my physical appearance. Yep. Very deep, my man. For me, it was that he was the first person to intrigue me enough to continue to accept his pursuit. I was (am) intensely shy and he didn't let that get in the way. He was polite, treated me with respect, talked when I couldn't, and carefully courted me until I had fallen in love with him without realizing it was happening.

Were you soul mates? Ha! Don't make me laugh. My baby is sleeping in the next room. Not even anything remotely resembling that. Ha! We were attracted to each other, in lust *AHEM* love, and wanted to get married. Is he my soul's mate now? A thousand times yes.

What was your marriage like in the beginning? If I say dreadful, that does not count as emotional vomit. It absolutely was and there is no way to make it sound better. Darron actually makes it sound worse. We had a horrid first year followed by an only marginally less horrid second year. We fought about everything and if my calculations are correct were only actually speaking to each other for only 14 of the 730 days in question. Main sources of conflict: family, sex, money, employment, religion, schooling, friends, movies, what constitutes a "breakfast food", the color of my toenail polish. I am not making this up.

So, um, are things better now? Yes, thank you. When "they" say marriage is work, "they" are making it sound a little too easy and way too fun. We worked and strained and sweated and toiled those first few years to move through our immaturity and selfishness and emerge problem-free and blissfully happy. Oh now, that's just my little joke. We still have problems. But they are exponentially fewer and father between. He still drives my nuts and I still make him furious, but you know, it just ain't the end of the world anymore. And on occasion, we'll give each other the silent treatment, just for old times' sake and to keep the home fires burnin.

What would be your advice for other married couples? How did you know I love to give advice? It's my favorite, right after being right and bossing people. My message to the world is this: if you have problems in your marriage, you are not alone. It took me awhile to realize this. I think many people wonder if they are the only one who struggles in their marriage. Now I know there are plenty of people who have "easier" marriages than we have had, are more "compatible" with their spouse, have had fewer fights and frustrations, and that's fine. Probably even great. Way to go, you guys. But that's not us, and comparing one's marriage to someone else's is fruitless and even detrimental. I am truly proud of what God has helped us build over the course of 13 years. We have come far. You just have no idea. It is hands down the biggest accomplishment of my life.

Happy Anniversary to my absolute favorite person in the whole wide world. You give me a reason to get up in the morning and brush my teeth and put on pants. Cause you have to know I don't necessarily do that when you are out of town. I love that I can talk to you and think I know exactly what you are going to say and then you bust out with this amazing bit of wisdom and I'm left speechless, staring at you like some adoring groupie. I love being your adoring groupie. I love that you continue to exceed my expectations, as a husband, a father, and a human being. I love that you are loving, funny, sensitive, solicitous, and courageous and that for some reason you like to hang out with me the best. I love that you teach our children to treat me with respect, through your example and your standing up for me when they don't. I love that it is so easy to turn you on. I love that we laugh at the same parts on "Seinfeld". I love that no matter what you will always be on my side, because with you there, I feel like I can do scary things, like ride roller coasters or raise children. I love that you love God and that you take the responsibilities of the priesthood so seriously. I love that you are completely masculine. I love being with you and knowing we will continue to get better together. That thought alone gives me more joy than anything else. I love that 14 years ago, you thought I was cute enough to ask out.

And am thankful I had the sense to say yes.